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Proverbs 20:3 meaning

The proverb opens with a profound assertion: "It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife." Here, honor is bestowed upon those who choose the path of peace, emphasizing that there is dignity in steering clear of unnecessary conflicts. It challenges the prevailing notion that winning an argument or engaging in constant quarreling is a sign of strength. Instead, the honor lies in the ability to maintain composure and seek harmony.

In the context of our daily interactions, this wisdom encourages us to consider the value of restraint. How often do we find ourselves drawn into disputes that could have been avoided? The honor, it seems, lies not in the victory of the argument but in the humility to let it pass.

  • The Folly of Constant Quarreling:

The second part of the proverb delivers a stark contrast: "but every fool will be quarreling." Here, the word "fool" carries a weight of biblical significance. In the Bible, a fool is not merely someone lacking in intelligence but often represents a person who disregards God's wisdom and acts in a manner contrary to His principles.

This portrayal of the fool as one inclined toward constant quarreling speaks volumes about the consequences of a contentious spirit. The incessant pursuit of conflict not only strains relationships but also reflects a lack of understanding of the profound value of peace and harmony.


Application in Our Lives:

As we reflect on Proverbs 20:3, the application becomes a transformative journey toward a more honorable and wise existence.

  • Choosing Honor in Disagreements:

In our disagreements, let's consider the honor embedded in maintaining our composure. It's a call to rise above the immediate impulse to engage in strife and instead seek understanding and common ground.

  • Recognizing the Impact of Constant Quarreling:

The proverb challenges us to ponder the consequences of constant quarreling. Are we, perhaps unwittingly, embodying the characteristics of the fool? Understanding the potential damage to relationships allows for a course correction toward wisdom.

  • Cultivating a Culture of Peace:

Beyond individual interactions, the wisdom in Proverbs invites us to contribute to a culture of peace. Whether in our families, workplaces, or communities, the honor of keeping aloof from strife extends to the collective well-being of those around us.


Cross References:

To deepen our understanding, let's explore a few cross-references that shed light on the theme of wisdom and strife in the Bible.

Proverbs 17:14: "The beginning of strife is like breaching a dam, therefore stop contention before quarreling breaks out." This verse echoes the sentiment of Proverbs 20:3, emphasizing the preventative aspect of avoiding strife.

James 3:17-18: "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceful, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy." James, in the New Testament, emphasizes the characteristics of heavenly wisdom, which align with the honor attributed to those who keep aloof from strife.

Romans 12:18: "If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men." The apostle Paul's exhortation in Romans complements the wisdom found in Proverbs, urging believers to actively pursue peace.


Conclusion: In Proverbs 20:3, we encounter a timeless prescription for a life marked by honor and wisdom. It beckons us to navigate the complex landscape of human relationships with a discerning spirit—one that recognizes the honor in avoiding strife and refrains from the folly of constant quarreling. As we heed this wisdom, we embark on a journey toward a more harmonious existence, contributing to a world where peace is not only valued but actively pursued.


Proverbs 20:3. It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife; but every fool will be quarreling.

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