Faithful
are the wounds of a friend; although the kisses of an enemy are profuse.
Proverbs 27:6
Wrath is cruel,
and anger is overwhelming;
but who is able to stand before jealousy?
Proverbs 27 [5.] Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
although the kisses of an enemy are profuse.
A full soul loathes a honeycomb;
but to a hungry soul, every bitter thing is sweet.
As a bird that wanders from her nest,
so is a man who wanders from his home.
Meaning:
This verse speaks to the value of genuine, honest relationships versus those that are built on flattery or hidden motives. It offers a profound insight into the nature of true friendship and the sometimes painful, yet necessary, role that honesty plays in our relationships. The proverb contrasts the genuine care of a friend who may speak difficult truths with the deceitful actions of an enemy who flatters but harbors harmful intentions.
- Faithful Are the Wounds of a Friend
The first part of the verse, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend," reminds us that true friendship often involves correction, even if it stings. When a friend speaks hard truths to us, it can feel like a wound—perhaps bruising our ego, confronting us with a painful reality, or challenging our decisions. However, these "wounds" are given out of love and concern. A faithful friend doesn't shy away from telling us the truth, even if it's uncomfortable, because they care more about our well-being than our temporary feelings.
We all need people in our lives who are willing to tell us the truth, especially when it's difficult. This may include calling us out on unhealthy behaviors, confronting us about poor decisions, or reminding us of God's standards when we’re tempted to stray. A friend who is willing to “wound” us in this way is acting faithfully—they are staying true to their role as someone who genuinely loves us. Their honesty, though momentarily painful, is meant for our good.
The book of Proverbs emphasizes the value of wise counsel and the need for correction throughout its verses. For example, Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance.” True friendship sharpens us, refines us, and helps us grow, but this refining process isn’t always comfortable. Just as iron sharpening iron creates friction, so too does honesty between friends create tension—but this tension leads to growth.
In the New Testament, we see a similar principle in Galatians 6:1, where Paul writes, "Brothers, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness." This restoration may involve difficult conversations, but it's done in love, with the goal of helping someone back onto the right path. The faithful "wounds" of a friend are aimed at bringing healing and restoration, not harm.
- The Kisses of an Enemy Are Deceitful
In contrast, the second part of the verse, "the kisses of an enemy are deceitful," warns us about flattery and false affection. While a friend's honesty may hurt, an enemy’s flattery feels good but is ultimately harmful. The “kisses” of an enemy symbolize insincere gestures—words or actions that appear kind or friendly on the surface but hide malicious intent underneath.
Flattery is one of the ways an enemy can manipulate or deceive us. It feels pleasant to receive praise and adoration, but if it comes from someone who is not genuinely looking out for our best interests, it can be dangerous. These “kisses” are designed to disarm us, making us feel comfortable and secure when, in reality, the person delivering them has ulterior motives. Their sweetness is only surface-deep, concealing betrayal or harm.
The classic biblical example of this is Judas Iscariot’s betrayal of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Judas used a kiss, a traditional sign of affection, to betray Jesus to His enemies. In Luke 22:48, Jesus says to Judas, “Judas, do you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?” The kiss that should have represented love and loyalty became a symbol of deceit and treachery. Judas’ kiss is the ultimate example of how the outward appearance of kindness or affection can be a mask for evil intent.
We can apply this to our own lives by recognizing the danger of empty flattery or manipulative kindness. Sometimes people will offer us praise, not because they genuinely care for us, but because they want something from us or are trying to hide their true motives. It is important for us to have discernment and not be easily swayed by superficial gestures of affection.
The Importance of Honesty in Relationships
This proverb highlights the importance of valuing honesty, even when it's difficult. It is often easier to listen to flattering words or to avoid conflict altogether, but relationships that are built on truth and trust are far more valuable than those built on empty words. We should surround ourselves with friends who care enough about us to be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable, and we should also strive to be that kind of friend to others.
Being a friend who offers honest feedback or correction is not about being harsh or critical for the sake of it. It requires wisdom, love, and sensitivity. Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to “speak the truth in love,” which means delivering hard truths with gentleness and care, ensuring that our goal is to build the other person up, not tear them down.
Additionally, we must learn to receive correction with humility. When a friend points out something in our lives that we need to address, our first reaction might be defensiveness or hurt, but if we can recognize that their "wounds" come from a place of love, we will be able to grow through the process. Proverbs 12:1 tells us, "Whoever loves correction loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid." The wise person values correction and learns from it, while the foolish person rejects it to their own detriment.
Conclusion: Proverbs 27:6 offers us deep wisdom about the nature of true friendship and the dangers of flattery. The "faithful wounds" of a friend may hurt in the moment, but they come from a place of genuine care and are aimed at helping us grow. In contrast, the flattering "kisses" of an enemy may feel good but are ultimately deceitful and harmful. This proverb encourages us to value truth and honesty in our relationships, to surround ourselves with friends who will tell us what we need to hear rather than what we want to hear, and to be wary of those who flatter with hidden motives.
True friendship, built on love and truth, is one of the most valuable gifts we can have in life. Let us cherish and cultivate these relationships, recognizing that even when it hurts, honesty is a sign of love, and deception, no matter how sweet it may seem, can lead to destruction.
PIB Scriptures are derived from the World English Bible